We had our first snow today!

All morning I wanted to get Nathaniel outdoors, but it wasn't until after his nap that it happened. When adding the second layer it occurred to me that I didn't know if the trach goes in the coat or stays out? Do I zip the coat tight to his chin? In the end, I zipped and went out. Just keeping the hat and mittens and boots on was challenge enough. (Snow pants? Didn't I buy those last fall? Where did they go?)

When the sun shines in January, my home is flooded with light. Designed by a carpenter in the 1950's our house has wide overhangs that protect the rooms from direct sunlight in the summer, yet allow the warming rays in through out winter. The two feet of extra roof saves us in heating and cooling costs all year. There is cozy spot on the couch in the living room where the sun shines in almost hot in the early afternoon. It is a good place to spend Nathaniel's nap time. Reading. Writing. Editing photos. Drinking the last of the morning coffee. It is a good place.

he nurse knocked on the bedroom door. I had heard Nathaniel’s oximeter alarm go off prior to her knock and was already out of bed. I ran to his room. Upon entering, my eyes went to the machine recording his oxygen levels. Seventy. And then before I looked away, it dropped to forty-seven.

The nurse was bounding him up and down in her arms, ignoring his gasps for breath. "He's cold," she said. "He needs warmer pajamas." He seemed slightly blue. No maybe ash is a better color choice, I thought to myself. All the lights in the room were on, but I desperately wanted more lighting to figure out what was wrong with his coloring.